Y’all I finally did it. The podcast is here. Thank you for joining me on this journey!
Asking that you listen to me ask other women questions about something as sacred as pregnancy and birth probably means that I should give you a little back story on who I am and why I know this podcast needs to exist.
I have a strong desire to know the stories of black women beyond a surface level. See I come from a family that didn’t share a lot of personal stories of pregnancy, birth, relationships, etc. not having those stories be told or shared I left home feeling ill equipped uninformed on so many things. But life, right?! It has taught me some thangs and through my sisters loved experiences I have learned even more. Something that I find rather dope about me that anytime I have combined groups of sister friends from different eras of my life it is always all love. We share stories and connect as if we’ve all been cool for forever. So not only do I want to know my sisters stories, but I want to share their stories with the rest of my sisters. We are in this together. That is how we grow our sisterhood and educate and inform those that come after us. Our birth and motherhood stories are powerful tools on the road to amplifying black voices, specifically black women’s voices. So into a lil bit about Koya. I’m from NC and after almost 10 years of living and growing in Atlanta we returned back to my home state. I am a mama to 4 sons, hence the name Tribe of Suns. They are the driving force behind so much of what I do. They are literal sunshine to my life. I am also the wife of my college homieloverfriend/husband, Bakin. He is my biggest support in general, but during pregnancy and childbirth this man is top of the top! He’s taken, but find you a partner that supports you wholeheartedly through your most vulnerable moments and you’ll likely have a winner.
Breaking Cycles
Despite growing up with the maternal side of my family that was filled with girls and women and very few boys and men, we were not discussing things like menstrual cycles, pregnancy, birth, or relationships! Of course the topics came up from time to time, but there was no depth. We heard remarks such as “don’t get pregnant” or “don’t bring a baby up in this house” more and more often the older we got. Sadly, in my discussions with sister friends, both in my age group and older, I found that they did not have these conversations with close loved ones either. So many of us were getting information from people that were just as inexperienced as us. Very few of my peers were fortunate enough to be guided into womanhood with information and wisdom that was passed down. As an adult and as a mother I have the understanding that sometimes it was hard for the generation that came before me to give what they themselves didn’t get from the generation that came before them, but that cycle stops here!
After I ventured off to college I would eventually meet the man who is now my husband. When we found out we were expecting our first child, we knew very quickly that we would take the home birth route. You’ll hear more about our experiences with home birth in future episodes. But, what I will say is that our first home birth changed my life and led me to this path that I am on as an advocate for black birthers and black maternal health, while also highlighting the importance of black birth workers.
Birth Is A Natural Process
Here’s my outlook on birth. Birth is a natural process and oftentimes it requires minimal intervention on the part of doctors or midwives, but you would never guess it with the number of interventions that are routinely forced on women during childbirth. If you aren’t already aware of just how these interventions could adversely effect you and your baby, you could end up accepting something that you’ll later regret. If you only took away one thing from this post I would want it to be that taking an active role in your pregnancy and birth is MANDATORY! At no point throughout the process should you be okay with not understanding something that could potentially harm you or your child. That could be something as simple as figuring out whether you want to take a drug or do a procedure that a nurse, doctor, or midwife recommends to you. You might think that a doctor or midwife wouldn’t recommend a drug or procedure that would harm you or your child, but sadly that just isn’t true. They are not all created equal, and therein lies the issue.
Make The Decisions That Are Best For You
Too often women are made to go through the routines set in place by a particular hospital or doctor. Regardless of whether things go as planned or if things go awry, the doctor moves on to the next mama in labor, leaving you with lifelong memories of decisions made by others during your birth. Those decisions that someone else made can profoundly shape your story-- making it not feel like your own. The presumption is that they know more about what’s going on with your body than you because they are the doctor. This just further reiterates the point that we have to be knowledgeable and diligent in our own care. Women are not going to stop having children in hospitals, so we have to get to a place where the emphasis is on patient centered care and shared decision-making.
I knew that I wanted to play an active role in what would become my birth story and I want my sisters to do the same. There are no guarantees no matter where you give birth, but we are losing our sisters and babies and are in dire need of an upheaval of this system. The U.S. medical system often does not prioritize the needs and concerns of black people. Racial discrimination, stereotyping, and a false sense of racial superiority are all issues plaguing the healthcare system in the U.S. It needs to be an all hands on deck. Unfortunately, the numbers of us that aren’t surviving childbirth is growing rapidly. I don’t say this to instill fear. I say it to instill knowledge. We can NOT be okay with the control being held by a medical system rooted in racist ideology. period.
At no point in this country’s history has the quality of healthcare for black people been equal to that of whites. There should be no wonder why there is a legacy of mistrust that black people feel when under the care of many white doctors and nurses. Health disparities abound. Whether it’s lack of health coverage, access to care, or quality of care things are worse if you are a pregnant woman that is black. I have read the studies and seen the statistics and I have made it my business to try to be part of the solution. Thus, the Tribe of Suns Podcast was born-- in addition to me deciding to further my doula training with Earth’s Natural Touch--Birth Care and Beyond.
Why birth stories? Why just black women?
When we google pregnancy and birth, we need to see ourselves.
Representation Matters
This podcast exists to provide information to women that look like me, while giving us an outlet to process our birth and motherhood experiences. Over and over I’ve listened to sisters say that they didn’t see us when it came time to research pregnancy and childbirth. The hope is that we can improve these outcomes for us if there is a space where OUR voices can be heard loud and clear. There are plenty of podcasts that amplify the voices and lived experiences of other women. This one is FUBU.
Knowledge Is Power
I also don’t accept women relying solely on the knowledge of their dr, nurse, midwife, or doula. Hearing the birth stories of black birthers and black birth workers can equip new moms and veteran moms alike with knowledge that they never knew before. However, I will always encourage women to seek out further information for themself. We know that our voices, personal experiences, and perspectives matter, and when we share our birth stories it’s such a grand act of service to our sisterhood. There is an infinite amount of knowledge to be gained when we share our journeys. . I simply want my sisters to be empowered to make informed decisions about the type of care they receive.
Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders often go untreated for black women.
Healing Is Needed
There is a saying, “If you heal a mother, you heal a nation” I truly believe that sharing our stories has the power to heal past, present, and future generations of us. Our wombs hold so much more than just our babies. Emotional, spiritual, and physical trauma are all in there for many of us. How could they not be with everything that our ancestral mothers have experienced over generations. There is no way that they endured southern appendectomies and rape and the like without some long lasting trauma, and research shows that trauma has the ability to alter our DNA and that DNA gets passed down to who? Our babies.
Even if you had the most peaceful birth experience, I don’t want you to think that you are exempt. Birth is so transformative it can heal you in areas that you didn’t even know were weakened. It could be your parents, siblings, or your relationship with your partner that gets stronger, because you shared details in your journey that brought you to motherhood and perhaps they gained a better understanding of who you are or how they could have supported you better if they lacked in that area. Sometimes the healing that is needed has nothing to do with the birth itself, but with our relationships around the time of our birth.
Sharing Our Stories Honors The Origin Stories of Our Babies
If trauma was involved in your journey to motherhood, you may never get to a place of celebrating the experience, but you can honor what the experience taught you about your strength and determination to keep going. You can take pride in having survived that difficult time in your life. Once you get the understanding that there can be dark and light at the same time, it may help telling our children’s birth stories that much easier. You can be thankful for your child’s life and still be sad about the events that got them earth side. All of our stories won’t be wrapped up in pretty ribbons. Some will forever remain bittersweet, and we honor those. Our stories matter—the happy ones and the sad.
We All We Got!
The Tribe of Suns Podcast was created because we need all of our truths combined. There should be no taboo topics when we are dealing with our sisters. Telling the truth about what we’ve endured, how we were made to feel, what could have been done better--it all allows us to have the say in what OUR narrative surrounding pregnancy and birth looks and sounds like.
I LOVE US!
I am seriously my sisters’ biggest fan.I’m looking forward to embarking on this journey with ya’ll by my side every step of the way. I stan for us because we really do juggle so much. Some of my fondest memories in my adult life have consisted of a group of sisters sharing space and dialogue about our lived experiences. We are powerful beings and we are allowed to be the facilitators of our pregnancy and birth care. Who gives us permission?
We do.
Growth Is Constant
Hang in there with me as I grow in this podcaster role. I promise, production will continue to get better the more I learn, but my very first guest on the Tribe of Suns Podcast told me, “perfect is the enemy of done” so here it is!
Again, the goal is to use birth stories and honest conversations about motherhood as a means to educate and empower black women. We need to support and utilize black birth workers to help increase our outcomes—knowing that it’s within our rights as birthing people to be informed in full so that true consent can be given. On the Tribe of Suns Podcast we will honor all birth outcomes, acknowledging the importance of black women being honest about their feelings surrounding their birth and motherhood stories. We are the narrators of our own stories.
Write That Birth Story, Sis!
So I task you with this. Whether it’s been 2 months or 20 years, write your birth story. Keep it to yourself, share it with a select few, just your child, or share it with the world. There is no wrong way to tell your story.
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