In today’s episode of the Tribe of Suns Podcast, Phenecia(aka PJ) and Troy share their first birth story. They were living life like it was golden in Brooklyn, her as a flight attendant and him as a barber when they learned they would be expecting their first baby. The couple knew quickly the kind of birth they were envisioning and invested both time and finances to make it a reality.
While their home was the original place that they planned to welcome their new light into the world, a 40+ hour long labor changed those plans. PJ would be faced with having less control of her birth, but still did her best to advocate for herself and make her birth plan/preferences known to those who would take over her care.
Prior to the couple conceiving, PJ's grandmother knew that her time on this earth was coming to an end and she made her wishes known. She wanted Troy to give her grandbaby a baby. Grandma surely spoke it into existence! On her birthday, Phenecia would take a pregnancy test! She was indeed pregnant!
Pregnancy was beautiful for PJ. She experienced no morning sickness and felt completely supported by Troy. In true PJ fashion she continued her “divatude” throughout her pregnancy, wearing heels at work and strutting it up and through airport terminals. No worries though, ya’ll, she changed to flats for service in the air. She continued working up to 36 weeks.
Finding a Midwife, Doula, and Childbirth Educator
Even with the decision ultimately being PJ’s, Troy knew he wanted his baby being born at home. Phenecia knew that her heart was set on a water birth at either a birth center or at home. NY laws that mandate certain things as non-optional like the eye ointment administered right after birth, Erythromycin confirmed her decision to birth at home, thus there'd be little to no potential for entities such as CPS getting involved.
Friends gave the couple referrals for midwives and through these recommendations they would be connected with a childbirth education instructor who was a former doula. She shared with them the importance of being mindful of their language. During their 8 hour class words like control kept crossing their lips in regard to how they envisioned their birth going. She informed them of how enclosing the word control is and reminded them to be more opening. They saw the childbirth education workshop as an investment in their journey to parenthood. It put PJ at ease when she felt anxiety creeping in.
PJ had some worries about having her waterbirth in their upstairs brownstone. She worried she might be too loud for her downstairs neighbors. Her doula would soothe those worries. Mental images from various moments throughout her life from childhood to adulthood where she witnessed birth as this over dramatic scene, rather than the peaceful and calm scene that she envisioned for herself were making their way from her subconscious mind.
PJ didn’t disclose her plans for a home birth/water birth /natural birth to a lot of people until she was visibly pregnant and began getting questions about what hospital she would be birthing her baby in, and whether she would get an epidural. A lot of negative energy was impressed upon her fueling the already present anxiety. Having 3 friends that were all pregnant at the same time, and went into labor early only added to it as well. She would gain greatly from eventually finding her doula via Ancient Songs Doulas. As a tip to other moms that may be birthing in New York, Phenecia shared how Ancient Songs offers a sliding fee scale and is willing to work with women who may not be able to afford to pay as much as others.
Labor Gets Started
The night before her due date PJ began experiencing what she assumed were Braxton Hicks contractions. After her scheduled weekly visit with her midwife they both agreed that they likely were Braxton Hicks due to their irregularity. She also shared that even though she has a history of having fibroids, all of her tests coming back normal made an ultrasound unnecessary. That same evening PJ’s water breaks while her husband is out running errands. It didn’t break with a big gush, it was more of a trickle. After arriving back home Troy texted their midwife and doula. Her midwife needed to establish if PJ's water had really broken. It had and she requested that they let her know when the contractions got closer together. Her doula came later just to do a mental wellness check. Irregular contractions through the night made it difficult for PJ to sleep and her appetite was non-existent.
The next morning, approximately 12 hours after Phenecia’s water had broken, her midwife would arrive to help her get things moving. They took a walk in the cold NY weather, utilized a birthing ball and several other techniques to induce labor.
After a cervical check from her midwife it was determined that PJ had gotten to 3” dilation. It had now been 20 hours since her water had broken. Her midwife would recommend going to the hospital after 24 hours had passed--but assured PJ that a lot can happen in 4 hours. Her doula would end up being a reassuring asset in this time.
The midwife had PJ wear a pad to keep track of the color of the fluid leaking to keep an eye on whether there was any meconium in the fluid. They would eventually see some signs that meconium might be present. At 28 hours their midwife would ask what hospital they should go to because time was now up. With no intentions of ever needing to go to the hospital there was no bag ready for a hospital trip and a preferred hospital had not been chosen so they looked to their midwife for a recommendation. They would decide to take the trek from their Brooklyn home to a hospital in Manhattan known for its midwifery program and accepting home birth transfers.
Journey from Home to Hospital
PJ arrived at the hospital with her husband, midwife, and doula. The midwife immediately took the lead and assisted in getting PJ taken care of upon arrival. The midwife on duty looked over PJ’s birth plan and stated that certain things wouldn’t be negotiable because she was no longer birthing at home. They discuss Pitocin and an epidural. While PJ is okay with the Pitocin she shares that she would like to hold off on the epidural. She had to make it known more than once that she only wanted the Pitocin. The hospital midwife lets it be known that the Dr. on duty is very “by the book”. Upon arriving he recommends gas, the epidural, or a pain pill and suggests she do it now rather than later.
Approximately 30 hours after her water had broken PJ receives an ultrasound where they see not only fibroids, but also that her fluid is extremely low. The Pitocin would make the contractions so intense that the baby’s heart rate would increase with each contraction. The on duty midwife stopped the pitocin without a word to the couple, but thankfully a shift change brought new energy to PJ. The new midwife would take charge of PJs care and implement measures to help ease the tension on the baby while putting both PJ and Troy more at ease with what was happening.
Despite the Pitocin being turned up, PJ’s contractions were still irregular. Going into approximately 40 hours of stalled labor, PJ had had enough. She shares that she was labeled high risk due to having had a blood clot when she was in college. An inability to urinate exacerbated her already energy zapping labor. Phenecia shares with her husband both verbally and non verbally that she was just ready to get her baby out. Troy shares how he could tell his wife had had enough. They gained some more fighting spirit with nudging from their midwife and PJ persevered a bit more.
After more time had passed the midwife would soon inform Phenecia that now would be a good time for her epidural. It would be necessary in the case of a cesarean, but would also afford PJ some time to rest. The Pitocin she was receiving would continue to affect her baby’s heartrate if given at too high a dosage, and as she was quickly approaching 48 hours it was now time to get their baby out via an emergency cesarean.
Phenecia and Troy already had originally planned and paid for placenta encapsulation and placenta art, but a fever prior to surgery would mean PJ’s placenta could not be taken home as it was now considered toxic material. It would also mean her child would have to go to the NICU after being born and receive drugs until they could be certain she was well. Mama would also be given antibiotics until it was determined if she indeed had an infection.
Troy shares how he came across what would become their child’s middle name (Yemaya) as PJ was being prepped for surgery and he shares the name he found with PJ.
PJ gets real about how she felt mentally unprepared for a cesarean and how she felt some trauma surrounding the experience. In addition to other factors, being awake and her position on the table during her procedure caused some anxiety. After their daughter was born, the midwife on duty made sure they got some of their golden hour to bond with their daughter. She was also able to show Troy how to do skin to skin with his daughter, Nuri Yemaya.
Phenecia meets Nuri for the first time
Skin to skin with Daddy
Nuri was given her shots and whisked off to the NICU with Troy not far behind. The departure of her husband and her child as well as feeling the pressure of the closing procedure of her cesarean would mentally get to PJ. She was now fearing the worst case scenario, but thankfully she was eventually done and moved to a room where she could get some sleep. She waited to be reunited with her husband who was in the NICU with their daughter, Nuri.
It would be 14 or so hours after giving birth before PJ was able to walk to the NICU to see her baby and nurse her. Phenecia shared the results of the tests that had been run on Nuri and how she feels the drugs she was given would cause her to later be diagnosed as jaundiced.
On day 3 in the hospital Nuri is able to be reunited with her mama in the same room. PJ shares how stomach pains on her release day revealed an ileus--gas trapped in her intestine. Two more days would pass and Phenecia believed she would be going home, but a high heart rate and fever threw another wrench in her plans. An overly inflamed uterus is found to be the culprit caused by an infection.
A week after giving birth PJ was able to go home. The excitement of being home had her up doing more than she needed to be doing, as she tried to keep the gas at bay. Three days later PJ was not feeling well and believes sitting down more often had caused the gas in her intestines to build back up. PJ would go back to the ER and would remain for another 3 days.
Nuri was blessed to receive donor milk for a month as PJ allowed her body to rid itself of medications that could be transferred across her breastmilk and prove harmful for her newborn. She is thankful that she could give her child breastmilk for the time that she was able. PJ shares her appreciation for those that supported her and her respect for all moms. We hear what her postpartum experience was like. She shares how being unable to breastfeed her daughter caused some feelings of helplessness despite having a great support system and how she was able to work through those feelings.
Troy gained a greater love for his wife after seeing all that she endured to bring forth their baby girl, Nuri and PJ shares how affirmations sent to her by her doula encouraged her throughout her pregnancy. PJ and Troy discuss how important her doula was in their birth experience and why a doula is a must have!
PJ dedicated this episode to her doula and Troy dedicated it to Phenecia’s grandmother.
Resources:
Troy's Business The Standard Grooming Co (Located in Brooklyn, NY)
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