In our very first guest episode, Denise explains how a fear of pregnancy and labor as a younger woman evolved into a strong desire to give birth at home. She once saw childbirth as an unbearable act that she says, “scared me to the core.”
Meeting her husband, Akibi while attending grad school in Atlanta, Georgia played a role in Denise ultimately choosing to birth their children at home. Him being both African centered and health conscious led him to discover the documentary “The Business of Being Born” which he then introduced to his wife. Prior to viewing the documentary, Denise hadn’t given much thought to what birth would be like for her. It enlightened her to birth as a lucrative business and how dangerous it can be for black women giving birth in a hospital setting.
Support from sisters--blood and chosen also helped open her eyes to what things she might be able to expect from pregnancy and childbirth. She admittedly “punked out” on her sister’s first two births, but made it her business to attend the third birth to work toward mentally preparing herself for what might be in store for her. Having earned her PhD in Civil Engineering, Denise was no stranger to research and studying so books were also a part of Denise’s resource list.
The dedicated educator shares how even a planned pregnancy can be a major game changer. Denise shares how a history of irregular periods made it just a bit difficult to know for sure if she was expecting. Their planned pregnancy happened faster than she expected. It would throw a wrench in her international travel plans to Africa. With an anticipated trip planned to Liberia no longer possible due to a positive pregnancy test, although a bit bummed at first, Denise was ultimately excited to be expecting her first child. For Denise and her husband, it was a no brainer as to what they would do--get prepared to have the baby in the setting that made her feel most at ease.
Her initial plan was to birth with nurse midwives in attendance, so she started her pregnancy in their care. She was selective with the number of appointments she would attend and some of the tests that were recommended. The lack of bond with the different midwives she would see was one of the final determining factors in Denise deciding to proceed with a homebirth. She would decide to end her dual care with her ob and midwife and only proceed forward with her midwife. While Denise had a strong desire to have a black midwife, it proved difficult in Kalamazoo, Michigan where she lived at the time. Despite not being able to find a sista midwife, she was still pleased with who she did find.
Armed with resources she was able to determine what she did and did not want for her delivery. An already healthy lifestyle helped Denise to be on the path to a healthy low-risk pregnancy and birth. African dance and yoga through an organization called Rootead, also helped prepare Denise for her birth. Staying active and building a birth team around her that offered unwavering support, allowed Denise to trust her body to get her baby into her arms safely. We hear what Denise envisioned her birth looking like--the space, who would be allowed in the space, the sounds, etc. A road trip to her home state was decidedly a bad idea toward the end of her pregnancy.
After going past her estimated due date by nearly 2 weeks, Denise used pineapples and dates to help naturally induce labor. One day she had been walking, as another means of getting labor going. While she was typically able to do a mile or two leading up to this day, things felt very different and she was barely able to make it a mile. She felt intense pressure on her pelvis and rectum while walking so she returned home and did some stretching. What she described as one of the biggest bowel movements of her life also let her know that something was happening.
Denise texted her husband to let him know that she thought she may be in labor, but didn't know for sure. He and the midwife would make their way to her. She mentioned to Akibi that she hoped she was at least 6 centimeters dialated prior to her first vaginal check. He thought it could be wishful thinking. Lo and behold, she was approximately 6-7cm dilated. It was music to her ears.
Laughter and jokes were getting Denise through her contractions, but relaxation in preparation for what was to come was still a priority. Intense contractions were met with the water from the birth pool and counterpressure on Denise’s back from her doula. Her husband Akibi, would prove to be a multi tasker throughout the birth being her support, DJ, photographer, and bringer of food. Coconut water proved to be refreshing to Denise.
It was evident that Denise was progressing, as she would need everything to stop as each contraction continued to bring a lot of discomfort. She reached a moment in her labor where she went into a “black hole” and became focused on her breathing and not her surroundings. There was a brief moment of doubt, but breathing helped her get through, because she knew there was no turning back.
Her midwife was able to talk Denise through the transition period to the “ring of fire” and reminded her to keep her volume low through that process. She shares that when her daughter's head made an appearance her husband would place his hand on her head, causing her discomfort. She let him know that it was not comfortable. We have a good laugh when Akibi explains why he felt the need to do that. Support and words of affirmation from those in attendance helped see Denise through to the end of her labor. In the midst of bringing her first child into the world she thought to herself “I could do this again” while riding the waves of labor. She saw her first birth as the standard for all of her future births.
Akibi joined Denise and I for a followup episode so that I could get his viewpoint on the birth of his first child. He shared what research he did in preparation for his wife's birth. Denise shares that their families were positive upon hearing that Denise and Akibi had chosen a home birth. Akibi shares that his family trusted their judgement, but still wondered why they would be going “backward” and not birthing in the hospital even though his Jamaican parents were themselves born at home.
Akibi's expectations for the birth would be that Denise would be as comfortable as possible and that her needs were fulfilled. Strangers in their home was not something that either of them wanted. If you were attending you needed to be serving a purpose to bring the baby forth.
Akibi admits that he wasn't fully sure of what he should do as Denise went deeper into the labor. It wasn't easy for Denise to explain what she needed in that moment. While he learned some things from watching the doula, upon seeing his baby's head appear in the water he instinctually thought his baby was going to drown and placed his hand on her hand. He admits there were nerves, excitement, and joy seeing his first child being born. He simply wanted to save his baby. It was just Baba instincts kicking in.
We end the interview with wise words from Denise and Akibi on how important it is for people to remember that even as technology advances, we can’t forget what we’ve done traditionally. Reading and researching for yourself is important. Akibi never felt like he needed to prove a point about home birth. He understands that there is no one way to bring a child into the world.
Before the airing of this episode, the midwife that would end up attending Denise and Akibi's second birth, Claudia Booker would transition to the ancestral realm. She was a well respected and beloved midwife, advocate, and educator so we dedicated this episode in her memory. Denise shares some moments of her time spent with Claudia.
Resources:
{Book} Black Gems In Stem
{Documentary} Business of Being Born
{Book} Holistic Parenting from the Pan Afrikan Perspective. While the books is no longer being printed, you can watch an interview with the author here:
{Community Organization} ROOTEAD-- From the website: The mission of Rootead is: “Birthing Justice & Body Awareness. We achieve this mission through offering movement classes, workshops, house concerts and resources in sustainability, social justice and living to Kalamazoo and its surrounding communities.”
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